He did it!

He did it! I couldn't be more relieved or proud. Shanon finished the garage yesterday. 

I look forward to the day when I get to see it in real life. This has been a thorn in my side since the moment I was making the decision to leave my marriage. I didn't want to leave with it unfinished because I thought that he wouldn't finish it. But he did! Thank you god for being there and helping him see it through. In all my years I was with Shanon, he never finished a project but changed open project often. This was terribly frustrating for me and I couldn't handle it. Thank you God!!

And most important, thank YOU Shanon! You did it!

Finding a new place to call HOME

Another era is coming to an end.

We are looking to move out of the house I moved into with Seth last August. Bailey and I have a vision of finding a house with a view, close to a creek. Seth seems apprehensive.

We need 3 bedrooms, big windows, and a view. I would love quartz countertops (of course I would!).

That's what I command.

I don't know when or how we are going to be able to afford it but I'm continuing to see myself in it. Dancing and laughing in the kitchen with the kids. Hanging my crystal tetrahedron in the window, making my alters with my sacred geometries and doing my energy work. I see it, I feel it, I love it. I go there often.

I know we are in the process of manifesting everything that we desire. I know we are. I feel it in every cell in my being.

I love you all ~ I am so flipping excited.

Being Un-Wanted

Through intense and fast work with Twin Flame Healers, Jill & Remi, on Wednesday - I asked them how I can be so ecstatic and ready to assist in this planetary transition and still be stuck in my house.

It was discovered that I was a deeply unwanted pregnancy. I was not wanted at all. By either parent. This makes so much sense to me. From the outside, I was the sixth child in a difficult marriage. My mom had two 'miscarriages' between my sister Stephanie (7 years older than I) and me. I am guessing both of these pregnancies were me and I could not handle the feelings of being unwanted and therefore, I left. It took me that long to muster enough courage to make it through the 9 months of womb creation. And I made it, with the chord wrapped around my neck, the doctors had to cut my moms favorite nightgown (I've been told) in order to get me out alive.

My entire life I have walked around feeling this un-wanted, un-loved energy And have continued to manifest it in my every day life - unconscious to the why it was happening.

Fortunately, I also carry the unconscious knowing that I am a part of the creators un-conditional love. It is now completely conscious that I am un-conditional love as is every being, plant and animal on the planet (and every one in the creation that we may not perceive with our eyes).

With this unconscious energetic being brought forth to be transformed back into light, I have created a template for others who carry this frequency t transform theirs too.

This is why I have been placed in the vicinity of star beings who are also here to transform the planet.

Aka Colton; Colton was also an unwanted pregnancy at first - I was terrified - and was probably terrified because I unconsciously carried the frequency that was given to me during those formative cellular splits. Colton was my rock ensuring that I didn't get lost in the abyss. He is more magical that he realizes.

Aka Alex: Alex came here to help Shanon. He had to find and go through two women who were potential options. One aborted him, so he found one that was asleep enough not to notice he was there. But the mother who carried him did not really matter because he and I had an agreement that I would meet up with him when he needed me the most. I accepted the gift of being his mom, to be there to be the reminder and encourager for him to be and do what he came here to do. And he is doing it.

Aka Ashton: Ashton and Bailey were supposed to meet. They have a connection that I have never seen in children. Not like this. Ashton's mother bounced, he was alone in the world passed from house to house for 9 months. Once Seth found out, he did everything to get him and make sure he knew he was wanted and loved. And it shows. However, there is still that seed memory that I had to transform inside myself in order to provide him with the path to move through it.

How fun is this ride!

Woops ~ I just remembered who I AM

This last weekend, something shifted. I became whole inside my body and completely merged with all aspects of myself. I remembered who I was and truly who I am. By golly ~ I am in love. Fully completely. And it feels GOOOD!

The Ascension is happening at an accelerated pace. But guess what - I'm not running. I'm going with the ebb and flow of it. Enjoy, En Joy, In Joy. How truly liberating this is to lift the veil and make the connection with the creation of all that is as well as with our Earth Mother, Terra, who is also experiencing these changes. It makes me smile so big and laugh at the wonder and magic of all of this. We did this - every human, animal, plant in this dimension. It is glorious.

Check out pendymagic.blogspot.com for guidance on your path. 

Namaste

Wait, what just happened?!

Wow - December 2016. What a roller coaster of emotions. 

Seth warned me, he tried to anyway. I haven't seen him for a while.

On December 16th the kids and I drove back to Utah. 28 hours total driving time in the car. On the way there we hit a blizzard in Truckee. No chains. My knuckles were white from holding the steering wheel so tight, and the kids were laughing hysterically in the back seat. They were wonderful. How did I ever get so lucky. 

We rolled in to Stephanie's at 4 am. She was up waiting for us. First time Ashton had ever seen snow and he was happy to play in it right then. But, we had to go to sleep...

The next day we made our way to Heather's house and relaxed for the evening. I was beat up from the drive and needed to chill. 

Sunday, Shanon was scheduled to come up with Alex and his new gf to pick up Bai and take her back down to Moab. his gf didnt make it because something happened between them the night before. I got to spend time with my little Alex, who somehow is not so little anymore. My parents and my other sister Gay came over and spent the evening with us, discussing everything that we could in the short period of time that we have together. 

The next day, Monday, we made our way to Moab. Another 3 hour drive. I spent the next three days with Colton and Nikki in their cute little home. He made me breakfast, rearranged his work schedule to hang out with me, and made dinner too. What a sweet kid he is. Alex stayed with us at Coltons. We got to play this fun video game together - and I'm not one for video games, so that was interesting. 

The Gratitude Attitude

Hi, it's me again.

I quickly want to express how grateful I am for my man. He came home from work last night, looked me in the eyes, and told me how he felt like he doesn't express how much he loves me. The thing is, he does. So this comment baffled me. He wanted me to know that everything I am doing is enough, and not only that, but it's important. What I do with the kids, he appreciates beyond anything he could ever state in words or actions. With all this crazy devaluation that I've been doing to myself  ~ he comes in and erases all of it just by the look in his eyes. I'm pretty much in love.

Talk about an Ego death - and then Rising from the Ashes

Last week I applied for a part time Executive Assistant position with a pair of twin flames aka Big Impact Live ~ Shannon and Mark.  I thought I was prepared, I knew my shit, I resonated with them....

It was a group interview on Thursday night. Two other people would be interviewing along side me on a video call. I had this! Then, the first question was posed to one of the other applicants. After her response, I froze. It was only supposed to take 30 seconds for her to finish, but she went on - excelling at every word that came out of her mouth. I was next and I choked. The next 55 minutes I was a wreck, wanting to disconnect immediately if not sooner but didn't. Towards the end the couple started cutting me off and moving on to the next candidate. I was mortified.

I've interviewed poorly before, but I have never in my life had an experience like that. EVER.

That night I cried, but not out loud. I do what I do when I'm really super upset - trying not to let anybody hear. I remember this from early childhood when I would cry in my bed - scared shitless - but not wanting to get in trouble or yelled at for it. I tend to hold my breath, choking on my sobs until the space directly under  my eyeballs bulge out into an inhuman form. This kept going through Friday afternoon. I stressed myself out so bad - with all this negative talk to my inner child - that I ended up starting my period 10 days early.

I know ~ when will I ever learn, right? I have a great job, it's slow - there aren't near enough hours (like 5 per week) but that's okay! It's the holidays!

Then, Seth called.  He must have known I was upset because he said we could go ice skating with the kids that night. It was so fun. Even though she was slipping all over the place and could barely stand, Bailey kept laughing her head off and saying how much fun she was having. Ashton even landed on his face which quickly resulted in a bloody nose but that didn't stop him from getting back on the ice.

Saturday, even though I was still pretty humiliated from two nights before, I took the kids to a new place, Albany Bulb.  There are so many sculptures right on the water made out of nothing but trash. There are even a couple of Labyrinths that we walked in silence then left a token at the alter in the middle.

Next stop, Adventure Playground in Berkeley. I took Colton here when he was Bailey's age. It's a playground where the kids build the forts using nails, random wood, and they can paint too. It's all free, unless you want them to watch your kids, in which case it would be $10. There is a zipline too which Bai took full advantage of.

 I love this about myself. When I'm at a complete loss and have no direction whatsoever - I bounce and go find something new to explore (my sister Stephanie encouraged me to look for things in me that I love after calling her and screaming what an idiot I was, wishing I would be 'Normal').

Bailey continued all day expressing how grateful she was that I was her mom, because if I wasn't, we wouldn't be here right now and this was awesome. She kept telling Ashton the same thing. I'm so grateful for her.

Sunday, Bailey and I went to the Nutcracker. It's the first time I've been. We got to go backstage and see all the props which was cool. Especially once we got to see the performance. What an incredible weekend.

In the midst of all this - my friends, George and Deanna went to Standing Rock to stand with the group of people who are protesting the oil pipeline that, if put in place, would result in a contamination of the drinking water that the Sioux Indians rely on. It's covered in snow and looks freezing! I am sooo glad they are there to support the cause and just wish I could be there with them.