I don't know if it was a combination of this neuroplasticity, my energy work with the brain + pendulum, the new regime at the gym, the fact that I officially changed my name back to Finch yesterday, the audible book I'm listening to about the power of habits, starting my period, opening up a bottle of my favorite wine, my overall disdain with the structure and habits formed in the relationship I have with Seth, my frustration with the speed in which I can go with this creation or if it was a combination of all of it but I kind of freaked out on Tuesday night.
I had a several minute lapse for a fork in the road choice, sit down with little man Ashton and take advantage of his eagerness to fold the clothes with me or freak out and send a long ass blob of a text to Seth throwing up all of what I was feeling while he is in the middle of resolving a POS system crisis at work. I chose the latter option. After mopping the floor, doing 3 loads of laundry, doing the dishes by hand since our dishwasher is out, making sure the homework was done, trying to keep our space organized and clean while it seems that everyone else just throws their stuff all over the place I sent him the texts. I was frustrated. Once the texts were sent, I proceeded with the evening. It felt like I had released something I needed to and now I was fine. I folded clothes with the kids and we went up and watched Brain Child on netflix.
Of course he came home and we fought. Then that night I found this really cool DMT music on YouTube and I worked through the different parts of my brain releasing everything that doesn't align with attracting wealth or which is in dissonance with having a partner who respects the relationship. There was sooooo much stuff in the righ5 eye and between Seth and I that I was clearing. Literally took me alll night until I got up at 4:30 to hit the spin class.
The easy things I am working on releasing in 3D: My favorite bottle of wine, Pinot Grigio. I like it because it's inexpensive at $5 a bottle and I have grown accustomed to the taste and feel of a wine glass in my hands at the end of a long the day. Any inefficient, disorganized, ineffective activities and or moments I have throughout the day. I’m literally making every second count right now,even “dream” time.
The interesting things I’m working on releasing, the desire for my relationship to be how I envision it being....the potential. Way back historical timelines oh my gosh and super scary things I didn’t want to look at but had to in order to clear and balance them so that I can progress towards this creation.
This morning on the way to school I begged for a reprieve for Seth and I. We got it! We ended up going bowling together as a family and had a lot of fun. Yes, there is still a lot of healing that needs to happen but I got what I asked for and am super happy.
Tomorrow we get to go see Kaison and my heart could not be more excited.
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